Oui, Choose Love
Here’s what no one tells you: sometimes the real love story starts after the breakup.
Ours did.
Because real love isn’t what happens when everything goes right. It’s what you do when it doesn’t.
Pull up a chair, pour yourself a glass, and get the inside scoop.
“I thought he meant my brain.
He didn’t mean my brain.”
— Melissa
Photo: Screenshot from the show Aaron & Melissa met on, Aug. 11th, 2020.
Melissa: Aaron and I met on a virtual show. I was the guest and he was a co-host. After the show, he sent me a DM that said, “You fascinate me.” I thought he meant my brain. (I’m very dense with flirting.) He didn’t mean my brain.
Aaron: Normally I would do the tech check for every guest, but because Melissa was my co-host’s friend, I didn’t. The first time I saw her on screen, she was sitting like Cleopatra. Like someone should be fanning her and feeding her grapes. I thought, Who is this blonde woman? And then, when we spoke, she fascinated me. Not just beautiful — but sharp, funny, magnetic. And she was in New York during Covid, which meant I could actually see her in person, since I lived there too.
Who slid into whose DMs first?
When did it stop being a fling and start being something real?
Melissa: We saw each other almost every day from August to October 2020. Covid made a bubble around us — intense, beautiful, consuming.
One Sunday evening, Aaron said, “I need to step away for a week to know if this is real or just proximity.” So that’s what we did. By the Thursday, he texted me: “I’m in your neighborhood, feels odd not to stop by.” I told him no, he had asked for a week, and I wanted to respect that. I would have loved to see him, but I thought the boundary was important. He later told me it was the perfect response. The level at which I missed him that week, told me everything I needed to know.
Aaron: It became real, that same week, when I had to make a decision between Melissa and someone else. I couldn’t imagine losing Melissa. She made me better. Challenged me. Intrigued me. Attraction is one thing. But someone who stands on their own, who sharpens you, who makes you more yourself — that’s everything.
“Attraction is one thing. Someone who makes you better is everything.”
— Aaron
So… what broke you?
Melissa: We loved each other so much, but our wounds collided. My insecurities triggered his, his triggered mine. After two and a half years of trying and trying, we were exhausted and needed space. Breaking up was devastating. I sold or gave away everything I owned, left New York, and became nomadic just to find joy again. But even as I traveled, Aaron was still everywhere. He wasn’t standing next to me in the pictures, but he was still there in my heart, in my healing, and in the invisible ways we stayed connected.
Aaron: My fear was that when she seemed the happiest and everything was going wonderfully, it would somehow all fall apart. Every time we reached the top of what I called “Happiness Mountain,” she’d shank me (metaphorically, of course). I’d tumble down, bleeding and confused. I tried to show her I wanted to be with her, but it never seemed enough. I needed space. But I also knew Melissa was my best friend. Even when we broke up, I couldn’t imagine a life without her.
“She would shank me at the top of Happiness Mountain.”
— Aaron
If you walked away… why return?
Melissa: After nine months apart, Aaron came to see me in San Diego. I told myself I’d be all in for those five days. And I was. We laughed, we fought, we resolved, we connected.
When I thought about Aaron leaving and us going back to being broken up, I ugly-cried. When I thought about us being together, I giggled with joy. I bounced between the two like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which showed me my truth: I didn’t want to do life without him.
So, as he left to fly home, I told him he had to decide for himself. He had to want us more than he loved his apartment (Aaron really loved his apartment, but it was too small for the two of us long-term). A few days later, he started sending me apartment listings. That’s when I knew.
Aaron: I thought about our first chapter like an actor doing self-tapes: take after take, but nothing truly different. I told Melissa, “If this is just a repeat of the old script, it won’t work.”
We knew the love was there, we just had to commit to doing things differently. So, I leaned in. We made a pact: talk things through early, no knives at Happiness Mountain.
“You have to want us more than you love your apartment.”
— Melissa
What’s love like the second time around?
Melissa: Worth it. Our relationship today is night and day from what it was before. We’re different people now. Healed in ways we weren’t the first time. It took work. It still takes work. And that’s the point. When I think of who we are and what we’re creating together, I feel like I could explode with gratitude.
Aaron: We make each other better. Our perspectives can sometimes be dramatically different, but instead of criticizing, we try to understand. Sometimes she carries us, sometimes I do. That’s love. Underneath it all, we share the same core values and vision for our life, which helps keep us aligned.
“We still do the work, every day.
And that’s the point.”
Why marry? Why now?
Not because it’s expected. Not because it’s the “next step.”
We are marrying because after breaking apart and finding our way back, after choosing each other again and again, marriage is the clearest way we know to say: yes, it’s you. Today, tomorrow, always.
Like the vines that weave through Beaujolais, our commitment is entwined — showing up, choosing love, and choosing each other even when it isn’t easy.
And we’re not doing this alone.
We’re making this commitment in front of our Circle, you. When we falter, you are the ones we’ll lean on. When we forget, you are the ones who will remind us. This marriage is ours to build, but it is strengthened by the love that surrounds it.
That is why we marry. That is why now.
And finally, how do YOU show up and choose love?
Our story is one version. Now we’d love to hear yours.
Why did we choose Château de Bagnols?
This is a great story. Unlock it here!
